Grudges are bad, I agree, but it is hard to avoid holding them when someone does something to you that really bothers you. I had a friend a while back, and I stress just a friend, not a best friend, or a great friend. We used to do a lot together, usually the movies, but its difficult to be creative all the time.

This friend was one of the most materialistic people that I have ever met in my life, yet I forgave him for his flaws, and I tried to be a good friend toward him. There were periods of time when we went to the movies every day.

I had another friend, who I held at about the same level, who didn't get along with the original friend. When I remained friends with this other friend, my other friend for some reason began to hold a grudge against me and stopped talking to me.

What did I do? Absolutely nothing. I found it positively childish of the first friend to have gotten so bitter over me having another friend that he did not approve of. I never held a grudge on him, yet he still to this day doesn't talk to me. I even congratulated him when he received his diploma at the IB awards ceremony.

I think grudges are so stupid because we could still have remained friends, or at least acquaintances. I know that we would never have become best friends because it takes very special people to become my best friends. I may have been able to help him to make some better decisions in his life.

He seems to be heading down a path that may not be the best. I'm not saying that he was ever one of the smartest people I know. The only thing is that I migt have been able to help guide him down a better path, had he not held a grudge. If I see him in future years, I will not hesitate to talk to him, and I wonder if he will still hold a grudge on me.

I'm really bothered by his holding a grudge on me, and I don't know why. I was not as if we were ever really good friends, and I did find him annoying half the time. I suppose it is due to the fact that I really don't like being disliked.

Try your best not to hold grudges, unless there is a really good reason to. There are lots of perfectly acceptable reasons to hold a grudge, just don't set your grudge threshold too low, or you may end up holding more grudges than you ever imagined possible.